In 2020 my sister became obsessed with Michael Jordan after watching the documentary The Last Dance.
Back then me and her had MANY conversations about how to go after what you want consistently, stay inspired when motivation wanes, and keep going when the going gets tough (and the tough gets going, as Billy Ocean would say).
Anyway… Michael Jordan is the epitome of perseverance (and as it so happens, a fellow ADHDer).
So OF COURSE I decided the most important thing to do was cross-stitch my sister a big Michael Jordan image to hang on her wall as a source of inspiration.
Did I finish it though?
I worked on it for a few months with all the enthusiasm of a new project. And then it sat in my ‘graveyard of unfinished projects’… for the next FOUR years.
I thought about it every now and then. The guilt would creep in. The shame would follow close behind. But the idea of having to finish it no longer filled me with excitement. It had transformed from a joy to a burden.
That voice in my head crept up once again (I call my inner critical voice Mr Gruff)…
“Another thing you haven’t followed through on.”
“More wasted effort.”
“Why do you bother starting anything you KNOW you won’t complete.”
“Failure.”
Something changed in those 4 years
But something changed over those four years. I learned I had ADHD. I understood how my brain was wired. I worked with a Coach. I spoke to, and worked with countless people with a brain like mine. And I worked on my relationship with my inner critic, Mr Gruff, so I was better equipped to handle his shit talk.
And I stopped feeling bad about this lack of follow through.
Unfinished business
When my sister’s birthday rolled around in 2024, I decided I had 3 choices:
Option 1: Throw what I’d already created in the bin
Option 2: Spend a painful amount of energy trying to force myself to finish it
Option 3: Gift it to her. As it is. Unfinished.
I asked myself 2 very important questions:
What was the intention behind me starting this creation?
It was a random idea that I thought would be a fun and nice thing to do, and the core message was about inspiration and motivation to keep going.
Does this intention and core message get lost just because it goes unfinished?
No, if anything - it makes it EVEN better. Because sometimes the way to keep going, is to let go of things we no longer want to be doing.
My version of finished
I decided to stitch the phrase "WWMJD" (What Would Michael Jordan Do?) to finish it off and send it to her as it was.
Incomplete.
Imperfect.
But with all the love and intention still intact.
Remember
Just because something doesn't end up looking like what you first intended, doesn't mean it hasn't served the purpose you wanted it to. And sometimes, if you let go of the original vision - it ends up being even better 💖
Create Without Fear
It’s my experience of this, and the work I’ve done Coaching people 1:1 through their ADHD shame and paralysis that’s inspired me to create my upcoming group programme - this is where I tell you about that.
Over 6 weeks, we'll explore how to break free from perfectionism paralysis, redefine what "creating" means to you, transform your relationship with creative "mistakes," develop resilience against rejection sensitivity, and find belonging in a supportive community that truly gets your creative struggles. Launching 21st May - 6 spots left!
For full details and to join - https://rachelwalker.co/createwithoutfear
Other stuff to tell you about:
💫 Ed Taylor and I recently discussed IN DEPTH the topic of self trust - is it possible? What prevents it in ADHD folks? How do you build it? And beyooooond 🚀Watch here.
😖 Last week my Linkedin got hacked and now my account has been restricted for community violations soooo I no longer exist on Linkedin. Trying to battle with their support team but in the meantime I’m putting all my energy into Youtube instead.
I need to do something similar to the timer when it comes to making voice notes. I always decide to record one when I cba typing but a 'quick recording' turns into an 8 minute podcast.